MANSPLAINING!

 4/7/25

A few days ago, my husband, of all people, explained something I had been experiencing for so long but did not know how to express. I didn’t even know it had a name.

I was working on a project and needed to hire someone to assist with the work.This man was one of the people who responded to the ad. The interesting thing is that the very first time I heard his voice, it triggered a deep emotional discomfort—a strong sense of unease. I pushed it aside, but there was still that urge to distance myself.

I had many responses to the ad, but this person persisted, calling again and again to get the job.I sent out samples of the work I wanted and asked for comments. After many days of reviewing responses, I still couldn’t find anyone who seemed to understand what I wanted, and I was becoming desperate.

But this person remained insistent. He kept calling, asking questions, expressing confidence that he could accomplish the task.

Finally, out of frustration, I decided to take his offer and prepared the information for him to begin. The work he produced seemed mediocre, but I tried, again and again, to explain what I wanted.

Eventually, I asked my husband to sit in on a Zoom call and help me explain things more clearly.He did, and it smoothed everything out—but every time I began to speak, the man would interrupt, pressing his own way of doing things. My husband listened and gently brought him back to where the conversation needed to be.

I was so relieved when, with my husband’s help, we finally reached an agreement on how the work should be done.

After the call, I told my husband about the discomfort I had felt working with this man—the deep unease, the sense of insecurity. He explained that what the man was doing was called “mansplaining.”

I looked it up, and this is what I found:

Mansplaining:the explanation of something by a man, typically to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.

Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! I wasn’t going mad. I wasn’t imagining things. My instinct had been real.

My deep feminine instincts were real—working correctly, trying to guide me. I was so excited to recognize this natural feeling, and so grateful that I could now identify it in the future.

I had sensed, deep in my soul, what was being done to me. I realized that in the past, if I had listened to this feeling—when it first entered my consciousness—I might have avoided many of the crazy, awful, frightening situations I found myself in.

What a horrible word it has become to me. But now I know what it is. NOW I know what I felt. And next time, I will not ignore it.